What I Wish I Would Have Had Time to Say

My topic to study and keep up on was The Atonement in our Everyday Lives. At first I was so excited to speak on this topic because it was so easy. Right? Wrong. I sat down to write and, and I realized that I didn’t have anything. I think this was for many reasons, the first being that speaking about what apostles and prophets have described as the most significant event in the history of the world in just ten to fifteen minutes seemed incredibly trivial. The second reason is because no words that I will speak will ever be able to properly express the way I have experienced the atonement in my life.

I decided to start simple by defining the atonement. I used to think of the atonement as a singular event, which took place in the Garden of Gethsemane, where our Savior bled from every pour and took upon himself the sins of the whole world. But as I searched deeper, I began to find that the atonement is much bigger than that.

President James E. Faust explained, “Jesus Christ was appointed and foreordained to be our Redeemer before the world was formed. With His divine sonship, His sinless life, the shedding of His blood in the Garden of Gethsemane, His excruciating death on the cross and subsequent bodily Resurrection from the grave, He became the author of our salvation and made a perfect Atonement for all mankind. 

Our Savior was born in the lowliest of conditions. He was born among animals and their waste in the cold. He had no bed, but was laid in straw. He was wrapped in rags. He was mocked and scorned His whole life. His entire life was a sacrifice. And even at the end of it all, He asked His Father to forgive the very same people that had bruised and killed Him. That sacrifice is the atonement is to me.

Mercy is available to us because of the atonement of Jesus Christ. As stated before, the law of justice must be satisfied. Because our God is a God of order, there is no way around this law. The atonement is the means by which we can be forgiven of our mistakes daily. It is the means by which our Father in Heaven is able to pardon us and strengthen us. Without the sacrifice of Christ on our behalf, we would not be able to look forward in faith to the day in which we will meet our Savior again.

There are many stories we may have heard about the father making up the difference at the bike shop for his daughter when she finds she hasn't earned enough money, or the story about the boy who took a beating for his classmate when his classmate was guilty. However, when preparing for this talk, I wanted to share a parable of sorts that represented the everyday influence of the atonement in our lives. Although I was not able to find a specific story, I began to try to find stories in my own life that would represent the atonement. At one point, I said to my roommates, “Well, I don’t think this really applies to the atonement.” I very quickly realized that that is never a true sentence. The atonement of Jesus Christ is integrally woven into each part of our lives every day.

I remember speaking one night with my seminary teacher Sister Carpenter about grace and the way it works in our lives. She explained to me that grace doesn't play a part in our lives at the end. Our lives are not a sundae with the atonement being the cherry on top. Instead it is like a Twizzler or a Red Vine. It is integrally interwoven with us throughout our lives. We work side-by-side our Savior—not wait for Him to save us in the end.

Our challenge in life is to recognize the ways that the atonement is there.

When I began thinking about this subject, I searched and searched for evidence of its power and influence in my life. While I took my sister to seminary, I would listen to many general conference talks, seeking quotes or lines that would dive into the doctrine of the atonement. I struggled to find anything truly poignant to include.

I finally realized that the atonement—the grace was more active in my life than it had ever been before. This was not because of the words that apostles spoke or the talks they wrote, but because I was actively seeking out that power from Christ’s sacrifice. We will come to feel the influence of our Savior’s life as we strive to find it.

The atonement of Jesus Christ is evident in our lives each week when we partake of the sacrament. In the most recent General Conference, Elder James J. Hamula explained that the sacrament in a poignant reminder of the atonement. He explained that partaking of the bread, as we did today, reminds us of “body that was buffeted with pains, afflictions, and temptations of every kind, a body that bore a burden of anguish sufficient to bleed at every pore, a body whose flesh was torn and whose heart was broken in crucifixion.” Through its cleansing power, we can feel the influence of Christ.

By partaking of the sacrament, we are expressing our gratitude and our recognition of our Savior to both Him and to our Father who sent Him. We are acknowledging our choice to come to Him. Although the atonement of Jesus Christ has already been performed, we have our agency to decide whether or not we will utilize its saving power, its enabling power, its comforting power.

              During my time at UVU, I took a missionary preparation course at the Institute on campus. My instructor, Brother Durfey, explained that every time you pray and every time you feel the influence of the Holy Ghost, the atonement is active in your life. What a great blessing it is to be able to access the most all-consuming power we have in this life with the simple action of getting on our knees and speaking with our loving Father.

              This means that when we are living the principles of the gospel, we are better able to feel the influence of the Holy Ghost. When we do that, we are automatically impacted by the atonement. We can be filled with light, with warmth, with comfort, with confidence. Living basic gospel principles enables us to gain more guidance from our Father, which is accompanied by a stronger influence of the mercy from the atonement.

The atonement and doubt & pain:
              It is not a new concept that we will have pain and sorrow in this life. We will experience doubt and confusion. We must have faith during these times that the atonement of Jesus Christ will carry us through this trials until we may experience rest from them again.

              Spencer W. Kimball explained: “If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, free agency, would be ended. No man would have to live by faith. If joy and peace and rewards were instantaneously given the doer of good, there could be no evil—all would do good but not because of the rightness of doing good. There would be no test of strength, no development of character, no growth of powers, no free agency, only satanic controls.”

              I have personally come to understand that during the times when our faith is on the rocks—when we feel like the heavens are silent and God isn’t listening—those are the greatest tests of our faith. It is during these times that we can prove to—not our omniscient Heavenly Father—but to ourselves that our faith is strong, that we are sustained, and that we are capable.

Julian of Norwich stated about Adam and Eve: “…they will be compensated for their pain and suffering, their fear and anxiety, to an extent above that they should have had if they had not fallen.” When we relate this back to our lives, it is clear that the pains and sorrows that we experience in this life help us understand the joy we can have through Christ. Without our pains and trials, we would never come to know the perfect and personal way our brother Jesus Christ can succor us. Like Adam and Eve knew no joy or pain before the fall, so we cannot truly understand redemption and joy until we have suffered sufficient pains to bring us closer to our Savior.

The atonement is not just for members of the church:
              Elder Boyd K. Packer has said: ‘there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the atonement of Christ…” His sacrifice is infinite and all consuming. There is none who stands outside of its realms to touch. Christ suffered, died, and rose again for every single person who has ever walked, who walks now, or who will ever walk the earth. Its power is evident in the lives of every person. Its saving power is available for all who believe on His name and live according to the light that they have received.

The atonement is for forgiveness:
              Referencing Elder Boyd. K Packer’s earlier quote: “[Knowledge of this atonement] should be as comforting to the innocent as it is to the guilt who suffer for the mistakes” of others.

              We are commanded in the Doctrine & Covenants that we should “forgive one another.” Section 64 verses 9-11 continue to explain that “he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin… of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee…”
              I have personally found that if we choose not to forgive others, we will become unnecessarily burdened by things that are out of our control. Julian of Norwich stated, “For it is [Satan’s] meaning to make us so heavy and so sorry in this that we should forget the blessed beholding of our everlasting friend.”

              Please don’t let your pain prohibit you from healing or someone else from repenting.

Help will come ‘in the very hour you need it.’
             
              Missionaries are given a wonderful promise in D&C 100:6 that if they will study the gospel with fervor and will simply open their mouths, the Lord, through them, will speak the words needed to be said. They will be given what to say ‘in the very hour they need it.’

              I recently had an experience that helped me understand that we, as sons and daughters of God, will be given help through the atonement in the very hour we need it most.

              Over these last few months, particularly as my Fall semester at UVU began, I stopped feeling the influence of the Holy Ghost in my life. I no longer felt guided in the same way that I had felt before. I was still praying, still reading, still attending church. I was active in the gospel. Yet I struggled to recognize Heavenly Father in my life.

              Because of this, I began to lean on my family and friends much more than I ever had before. I called my parents at least twice a day. Bless their souls, they never complained about how often I complained to them. I consulted my friends about everything. In hindsight, I realize that I really just needed someone to talk to who I knew was listening to me.

              Each time I prayed, I never felt sustained or uplifted. I felt completely alone.

              I did have a few break-through moments recently, in which I learned that I had been feeling the spirit the whole time, but in a very different way before. However, I still felt the need to call my parents whenever something difficult or sad happened in my life.

              Only a few weeks ago, I had to say goodbye to some of my very best friends in Provo. As they walked away from my car, I began to feel overwhelmed with sadness—more sadness than I had felt in a very long time. Right as I was about to call my parents to explain how I was feeling, I was wrapped in this overwhelming peace. It truly felt as though someone was holding me up from falling. As I began to cry, I felt loved. I felt peace. I felt “strength beyond my own.”

              A few weeks after that experience, I had another that strengthened my testimony of angels. I was in the depths of sorrow, you could say. I had no more hope. I was in pain. I was heartbroken. I didn’t know where to turn or where to go. I needed a “grown-up” to tell me what to do and to tell me that it would all be okay. I needed a hug or someone to hold my hand. I cried out to my Father in Heaven in agony, begging to be comforted.

              In that very moment, an unexpected person (a “grown-up”) showed up, and told me all the words I needed to hear. I poured my heart out to them, although I had just barely met them a few hours previous. I knew nothing about this individual or if I could trust them. But I knew that my Father had sent them.

              I was given a hug that gave me the exact warmth in my soul that I needed in that moment.

              Elder Jeffrey R. Holland tells us that we will “have help from both sides of the veil… if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection.”

              These experiences left me with the realization that there have been countless experiences in my life in which I felt this same influence of the atonement. Because of atonement, we are promised that the Lord will succor us. Because he is perfectly familiar with every feeling will have ever experienced, He is able to know when exactly to succor us.

              Sometimes during life, we are left more alone than other times. I am convinced that it is because of these times in which Heaven is silent that we are able to more fully appreciate the joy that will fill our souls ‘in the very hour we need it most.’  

Enduring to the end:
              One of the principles we, as latter-day saints, believe is during the joyful times in life, as well as during the sorrowful times in life, we are expected to “endure to the end.” The dictionary definition of endurance explains that it is the ability or strength to continue. This is a wonderful blessing given to us by our Father in Heaven, by means of the Savior’s atonement. When we feel we are not able to continue on, we are blessed to know that His enabling power will give us the strength to go on.

              However, “enduring to the end” does not mean passively waiting around for blessings to come. It does not mean that we should simply scrape by in life. We are gifted with the ability to choose and act for ourselves.
             
              While waiting for answers for some big prayers of mine, I had an institute instructor point out to me that sometimes in life, we are required to wait upon the Lord. I agreed with this principle, and to me, it always meant that we needed to be patient in our trials. Next, he asked me what a waiter does at a restaurant. I replied with the simple answer, “he or she is our server, and they get us food and drinks.” He agreed again, and then pointed out to me that a waiter or waitress is someone who “waits on you.” They serve you happily and usually, fervently.

              As children of God, enduring to the end may require us to wait for answers and guidance from our Heavenly Father. But endurance does not mean that we are “slothful” and just wait for the Lord to bring us blessings. While we endure, we should be anxiously engaged in a good cause. We should be serving. We should be praying. We should be hoping. It has been mentioned several times to me that the more you understand the atonement, the harder it is to keep it to yourself.

Philip Barlow said: “…for some of us that test may come in our challenge to keep trying, to keep planting seeds and nurturing them, without feeling any clearly recognizable swelling motions, or spiritual confirmation, but simply enduring in hope and desire until, after long and patient service in love, the joyful taste of the fruit comes as a natural sequence to the performance of duty.'


Our knowledge and faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ allows us to have peace of mind when we experience the inexplicable challenges throughout this life. For those of us who continually confront challenges throughout our lives, we can look forward with faith to the day where we will meet our Father in Heaven and hear the words: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Welcome home.” 

My testimony:
This was such a wonderful topic to study right before I leave for my mission. What I thought I knew about the atonement was enhanced in ways I couldn't expect as I sought out more light and more knowledge regarding the life of my Savior. 

I am confident in my Savior. I am grateful for everything He sacrificed on my behalf. 
I know He lives. I know this gospel is the way back to my Father in Heaven. 
I couldn't think of a better way to spend the next eighteen months of my life. 
Someone recently asked me what I was passionate about. Although it's cheesy, my answer was the gospel. 
My life is consumed by the gospel of Jesus Christ. I try to live in a way that wouldn't make sense if God didn't exist. 
I have doubts. I have fears. I have concerns and questions. But I also have so much evidence of Christ in my life. I have too much evidence to doubt that He loves me, that He atoned for me. 
I am blessed with this knowledge, and knowing what I know, I feel I have a responsibility to share my happiness with all my friends in Georgia. 
Heavenly Father loves you. 
Seek this Jesus, come unto Christ. Let Him heal you. Let Him guide you. Let Him love you. 
In the name of my Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ, 
Amen. 

Hermana Abram


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